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Near Death Experience

Life Story Club Contributor

Feb 13, 2020

When you have a depression I’ve learned, there’s a part of yourself that feels like dying. It’s like, who am I? Where am I? What am I doing? And I think, a year ago I was a regular person, what happened? And all I can hope is that I’m better now and that I’ll just keep getting better. And with the help of some very special people like Elva. And she’ll really push me like what are you afraid of? And I’ve been thinking about that a lot. Losing myself. So it’s the near death, is the, losing your mind. Losing the ability to use your mind to remember to think, to know people, to have purpose. And how a depression can just settle in. I don’t understand. I’m sure there’s some evolutionary positive to it, but I really appreciate all the help you guys have given me.

I found support here. I took on Lois, and Lois and I were together in both needing a great deal of support and finally she got a much more structured set of support, which I think was better. That it was too much for me. And so now I’m on my own. I realized I had a dental appointment and it turned out, he just said things are going fine but it’s not ready to operate again. So, and it was five blocks away and I just said I’m going to the center. And they’ll be people there that’ll care.

So the center is a special, special place. And in some cases it avoids near death. And I think a particular staff attitude where you don’t have to be a regular person in great shape, you’re welcome here. You can have some problems, and you can do some odd things. And the staff, is with you because I don’t want to be in asylum place, in a hospital or something.

I’m running a little guest house. I realized I couldn’t do it myself. So I asked somebody who’s living there and gave it to him for free rent. So I’m losing a lot of money this year, but it’s worth it to have people be there for me.

Yeah I think I share too much, but when you see me tear up it really means, thank you for being someone I can trust by. But no, I feel like I could go up and ask for a hug and get one.

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